your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
