FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
