Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
FUCK WHALES
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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