are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
