Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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