Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
