Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
