garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i believe in u and ur pee
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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