Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
