I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
