I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
