You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
