My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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