I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize