We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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