I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
