I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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