went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
