three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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