So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize