Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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