what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
