Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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