In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize