Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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