just come out here and I will go home with you...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
