yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Found your dick twin last night
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
