addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
