maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
