dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
