Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am available for nakedness
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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