I seem to have left my pride at pride
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
