You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
its liver damage thursday
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
