Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
