found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
