You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
