Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
