K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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