wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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