He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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