dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
