You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
