sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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