Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
