But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
