He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize