Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
