I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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