Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
