who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
