It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
