sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We need to get me chipped asap
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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