Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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