he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
