Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We smell like vodka and hangover
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
